They still get it in Ohio

Seriously, it’s like yesterday’s events were built around my post (instead of the other way around like normal). This is why the federal government must regulate certain things because if left up to the states for interpretation, you get bullshit like this. I’m not gonna lie tho, when I was in college I asked my mom if I would be eligible for food stamps. Food stamps are the shit…when you have money. Then I would be able to buy the cheap shit with food stamps and the caviar with my money. Win-win for me! Another reason this video makes me feel good is because the tired excuse of “black people have kids just so that they can collect food stamps” doesn’t hold as much weight. Rich white people scheme just like poor blacks. Hmmm, now you tell me how that looks.

Lottery winner auctions goods

OMG, I woulda had a field day. I woulda borrowed some money just to “make it rain” at the auction. Cashmere rugs? Nigga, I didn’t even know they made cashmere rugs. Have you felt cashmere? I wish vaginas were made from cashmere, I’d walk around with a pussy in my boxers allllll day. And people make rugs for you to WALK ON outta it? Damn. I woulda dropped a grand on that, but I’m assuming someone went home with it for a lot less. Can’t wait for one of these Beverly Hillbillies to belly up and sell their custom made chairs with a real elephant on the handle (just have a chair and an elephant in my house lmao…but then my elephant will accidently crush someone after I give him wine and the LAPD will have to shoot him. Then the next day the NY Post will run an editorial cartoon with cops shootin the elephant and will say “guess Arizona will need a new Senator” because it just so happened that Sen. John McCain got sick and wasn’t at Congress that week. Makes sense? No, it doesn’t).

When you wish upon a star...

Oh yeah!!! I’m gettin me some lace-up gators!!! Maybe I can get a Lambo in an auction for the low low…do I hear $500? Lmao.