City of LA will cover the costs of the MJM

I guess an apology is in order. Last week I criticized the city of LA for askin the citizens to help with the tab for the Michael Jackson memorial service. At the time of the service, Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa was in South Africa and never ok’d a website to be set up. So thank you Mayor for not bein an idiot and askin the citizens to cover any costs. I suggest next time try bein in town when you’re city is throwing such a huge event.

Mayor of LA wants me to pay for Jackson's send off

It’s no secret that California is hurtin for money. It’s also no surprise that LA is hurtin the most of the cities. It’s also well known that we hosted two huge events in less than a month’s span. First was the Lakers’ parade and then the Michael Jackson Memorial. Obviously both events were very costly for a cash strapped city. Now the parade was paid for by the city but they were reimbursed most of the cost by the Lakers and private donors. But the MJ memorial is still up in the air. The city has even created a website so that people can donate money towards the cost (I think they’ve raised about ~17K, but the site was having issues so it has been taken down). Now hold the phone. I’ma miss Michael just like any rabid fan would, but you seriously can’t expect me to donate money to the city??? First off, it wasn’t my mismanagement of the budget, or my stupidity that allowed our cash cow (the film industry) to pack up its bags and leave. Hell, it wasn’t me that said keep property taxes low when you’re sellin 3 bedroom homes for $2 milli (and these are just regular ass houses in alright neighborhoods). $50 bucks says if you increase property tax like you’re supposed to, these homes will reach more appropriate values. What annoys me even more is OF ALLLLL THE FRIENDS AND FAMILY (not so much family, but hell why not?), OF ALL THE RICH FRIENDS AND FAMILY Michael Jackson has, nobody could cough up $1.5 million to send off a friend? I wish I was a millionaire I would have gladly covered the costs being the rabid fan that I am. And talkin bout fans, where are all the assholes that wanted to drop $10k on tickets? Why don’t ya’ll cough up some of that extra cash you got lyin around. Seriously, this is stupid. I really hope that someone has already paid the city for the service and the city is just being grimy and tryin to make money off its citizens to take care of debt. At least that way I can still respect Jackson’s friends and look down at my local government.

Pickin up the pieces

If you watch Family Guy, then you will recall an episode where Peter becomes a social commentator and has the spot “You Know What Grinds My Gears”? That’s who I feel like- like why is this idiot rambling? O because you love it, that’s right lol.


Shia LaBeouf was not the driver to cause the accident Sunday morning. It appears that the other driver ran a red light and knocked over Shia (or as we call him in the hood, Baby Shy Shy)’s truck. Upon further questioning of the driver, police found out that she was attempting to get Optimus Prime to transform for an autograph. Lol, not really.

We had a nice little (modest sized) earthquake today in LA. My first one, technically my second but I slept through that one. It was thrilling. I was sitting down outside my mechanic’s garage and he’s a hefty dude so when stepped out my car the ground started shaking. I was like “what the fuck did this man do?” Then I noticed the signs and lamp posts shaking and I was in awe lol. It was kinda scary but I wish I was standin up so I could do a Max B and “ride the wave” owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Speaking of hefty, looks like the new Facebook has gotten wider. I like the better organization but I feel like it stretches things across the screen more. O Facebook, you could be run by Hitler and people would still use you. Viva La Facebook!

And in other hefty news, it appears that the city of LA will restrict the construction of anymore fast food areas in the southern part of LA (that’s were all the blacks live). I think that’s cool, since it seems like blacks have the highest rates for diabetes, high cholesterol levels, and other diseases. Goodness, you’d think the people that help build this nation would be a little healthier than that. We need to start eating African food again and walk for miles with buckets of water on our heads again, lol.

Speaking of sick blacks, did you know that if all the black people in the US formed their own country, we would rank above Ethiopia (420,000 to 1,300,000) and below Ivory Coast (750,000) in HIV population? This is why I don’t fuck with black girls, lmao, just kiddin. It’s not the AIDS, it’s the attitude lol.

And right after this report was created; the Feds decide to apologize for slavery. Now they realize how much they fucked over black people. Hopefully they will apologize for crack, greasy foods, and AIDS in this clause as well. I feel the only proper way to pay us back is through reparations, just like on the Chappelle show. I mean, it’s not like they won’t get their money back. Best way to stimulate the economy is by giving us niggas MONEY!!! Lol. Cuz I know if I got an extra 20K, I’m gonna buy me a baby. CASH!

So I had to lick my fingers!!!


The Rant Is Due Muthafucka!